What's Wrong With Me

Lately, my thoughts have gone mixed up. LITERALLY. I always lost in my own world,day dreaming alot and sometimes at time i was focusing on something (like work) suddenly i drift away far from the subject. I'm a little bit freaked out myself and I have no idea what's happening to me actually. I even think that my intelligence level have decrease a bit (hopefully not) to the point that I feel embarrassed reading essays that i wrote when i was still in high-school. My vocab are also not expanding a lot. I sometimes stutter or slur on words when I talk too. Its whether the jelly-like tissue that gluing my braincells together have lost a bit of their elasticity or I'm hibernating my learning button or I'm just not absorbing knowledge anymore or there really is something wrong with my brains..

Just hoping that I'm not shutting down...

chidapunyasukala

'Twas The Day After Xmas~

'Twas The Day After Xmas

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like this post, it's empty.

chidapunyasukala

Bella

"eh,dik!bila potong rambut?cam comey plak akak tengok.."

"eh,u oso beautiful what?see, yo face is full one, so cute!" (cubit-cubit,tepuk-tepuk)

"u very pretty today.."

                                                    ~sengih,~

chidapunyasukala

Allah is The Greatest..

Dah seminggu aq plan untuk buat dosa this weekend. And i've been waiting the day to come so excitedly sampai sanggup ambik emergency leave on friday sebab tak sabar sangat. Tapi when the day come aq jadi takut sikit,but still as excited as i was before. So, as planned aq pun keluar la dengan confident untuk buat dosa,kononnya it's the first and the last la..Sampai je, kat tempat yang dijanjikan, Allah punya kuasa aq kena menunggu pulak..aq pun tunggu la, nasib baik makanan sedap..for 1 friggin' hour aq tunggu,nampak sangat Allah tak izin..aq pn fed-up tunggu and pegi layan movie cita Alvin & the Chipmunks.(by the way, cita tu tak best..what a waste of my 10bucks). then tengah tengok tu baru dia mengada-ngada datang..i am kind of piss off and biarkan je dia tunggu sampai cita habis..then lepas habis tu pulak aq yang kena pegi mencari pulak..arghhhh! so pergilah aq...and then there it was, and as if a lightning bolt struck my head and aq rasa Allah sayang gila kat aq time tu, i look at it and  i feel...NOTHING. not as how i feel before,completely nothing...i don't know why tapi Allah maha Besar, maybe there is something wrong with me or something is definitely wrong about it yang tetiba melenyapkan langsung segala apa rasa yang aq ada..until this very moment im writing,still i didnt feel anything anymore about it.but i am so grateful that Allah has led me into not committing and adding more sin and i feel so blessed right now..
Alhamdulillah..Thank You Ya Allah!!

Unusual...

today,

everything was far from usual

the glistening glare from the moving car window

the stationary tree leaves on a windy day

the gloomy sunflower on the desk corner

the tainted glass door

the black screen

the silent phone

me.

chidapunyasukala

The Garbage I Become..

This i quoted from a blog called iwrotethisforyou..nice one,

Now the TV's on at 3am and you're sleeping on the couch, because you can.

Now the plate is where you left it, no one else is going to move it for you.

Now the politics of blankets are gone.

Now the people on the radio sound so far away.

Now you've got no plans when you wake up, just keep on keeping on.

Now the morning fades to light, to twilight, to night.

Now you rinse and repeat.

Now you remove the sleeve and remove the film.

Now you remove the sleeve and pierce the film several times.

Now dinner takes exactly 2:30 minutes.

Now the earth hurtles through the universe around a giant ball of fire.

Now none of your acquaintances know they're really your only friends.

Now none of your friends know they're just acquaintances.

Now you've got to get used to being alone, like when you're born, like when you die.

Now you're free.

Now you can do whatever you want.

You just have to do it alone.

chidapunyasukala

Before I Met You..

before i met you,

time moves fast

days so soon last

anger unmanageable

sorrow uncontainable

words cannot be trust

mind seems began to rust

each second pass in waste

living life in such a haste

things were just things

life has little meaning

before i met you,

i never care much

i never felt touched

i always have doubts

i often wonder about

never felt that i am tough

never thought that i would be in love

but hey,

i told you,right?

that was before i met you..

chidapunysukala

Serunut!

tenet slow gila, eventhough bru topup quota..
nevertheless,something happen today that totally worth all the tiredly busy day..
ahhh,it made my day....
hoyeahhhh!

MEREKA~~

lame tak menulis..rasa kekok pulak nak start tulis balik..hmm,ok! tadi aq ada terbaca post kawan aq on facebook dan dia menulis pasal sorang perempuan cantik dengan nama Rara Zikry yang da meninggal..innalillahiwainnailaihirojiunn..
Tapi, sapa Rara Zikry?? 
Ok i admit memang da lama aq tak mengikuti perkembangan dunia melalui tv or surat khabar mahu pun surat layang. so, aq pun google la..and yang aq jumpa ceritanya dia koma sebabkan just a mild athma attack..then after dia sedar dari koma dia xleh gerak or cakap or kesimpulannya dia dah tak macam dia yang dulu and family dia ada plead untuk kos rawatan dia..n I was like.."Ohh..camtu"..
but then aq terfikir..kenapa kes dia sangat viral kt internet and media suma??
Aq just curious to know.....kalo die tak cantik macam tuh orang ramai ambik kisah tak??
Memang kecantikan dia tuh pemberian Allah,no doubt about that tapi as a human being aq ada perasaan ingin tahu,macam mana reaction semua orang terhadap kes dia nih..will it stll be like this??
Tapi daripada peng-google-an aq pun respond to case dia nih berbeza-beza..ramai yang simpati,tapi ada jugak sesetengah pihak yang tak tahu lah nak kata; dengki or apa-apa la yg cuba mencari semua kesalahan and keburukan dia untuk disebar kat internet,konon ank kata ape yg jadi kat dia tu sebagai pembalasan or yang sewaktu dengannya..whats the point and ape yang dorg dapat?aq pon tak tahu..
tapi bagi aq kisah dia nih tak sesedih kisah kawan aq sendiri yang aq kenal dan tengok perubahan awal dia sendiri depan mata aq..dia cute, kecil molek and sangat active dlm sports..suddenly lepas cuti sekolah dia balik semula ke asrama dengan muka membengkak ang kulit badan mengelupas..kalau duduk dekat dengan dia boleh nampak yg badan dia makin membengkak dan boleh nampak urat2 suma..then 2 bulan lepas tuh ada sorang member aq yang satu dorm dengan dia bagi tau aq yang dia ada penyakit sendi,and dia tak boleh bergerak.....and she only got to live until she's 18....ada satu malam tuh dia tak boleh bangun dari katil dia sendiri and she wet the bed..tapi dia tough,mulut sentiasa basah dengan zikir..her parents did a good job raising her as a muslimah..eventhough she's gone now - not at age 18 as said by the doctor,she's staying alive for a couple of years after - i hope and insyaAllah i pray for her for Allah to granted her(and my mom,*love u mak!)  Jannah.


Al-Fatihah to all of them..
-sooner or later i'll be joining all of you too...








chidapunyasukala